Building child self esteem would have to be one of the most difficult tasks that parents face. First we have to ask ourselves, how is our own self esteem? You see, those who have self esteem issues will have difficulty building self esteem in their children. Being confident in ourselves is the first step in building child self esteem. This doesn’t mean that if you have low self esteem that your children are doomed to suffer the same issue. Not at all, it simply means that building child self esteem will be more of a challenge for you. The good thing is, you already know at least some of the things that can undermine their confidence in themselves. Therefore, you know some of the pitfalls to avoid.
Life is a cycle in which we learn good and bad lessons from parents and peers. Whatever conclusions we draw from our experiences we pass on to the next generation, and they then pass it on to the next etc. Although it may be tempting to blame school or society for the issues children face, we have to keep in mind that most of the lessons they learn whether good or bad are learnt in the home. Remember the old saying, ‘children learn what they live’.
If we lack self esteem or have weight problems then it shouldn’t be surprising if our children face the same problems. If you watch every thing you eat and make a big deal of it because you’re worried about getting fat or if your self worth is based on how fat you are then don’t be surprised if your children think the same way.
If children think they can only be loved if their body is slim then maybe you need to look at your attitude. Do you comment about how unnattractive fat is? While it’s true that the media portray many narrowly circumscribed images that children aspire to (often inappropriately), it doesn’t help if all the magazine does is reinforce the messages they receive in the home.
Parents must take responsibility for raising their children. If you allow your children to rule the home then don’t be surprised when they don’t respect your authority. If you’ve permitted your children to control you rather than the other way around then they won’t permit you to control them without a fight.
Every child is unique and they need to understand who they are and why they were born. They need to be taught that self worth isn’t dependant on size, weight, or how well they perform academically. They need to understand that they are loved and accepted regardless of their appearance. Children should understand that even if they suffer weight related health issues they are still beautiful, worthwhile people. They need to feel accepted and understand that losing weight is important for their health but has nothing to do with their self worth.
Children hate the words overweight and obese because they don’t understand what the words means but receive the impression from society, peers and sometimes parents that it is ugly and means they are a failure. Name calling will only cause your children to lose self esteem. Teach them positive lessons so they can lose weight without losing self esteem. Encourage them in what they do, they might be good in an area then praise them. But don’t reward them with food. Children are crying out to be loved and many eat to fill that empty void, they want to be loved and accepted and have a good image about themselves.
Building child self esteem doesn’t have to be difficult. Try not to make negative comments about them. That can be easier said than done when they try your patience and you become frustrated and angry. If a child receives a positive message at home it can go a long way towards helping them deal with the negative messages they receive elsewhere.
It is important to evaluate your own self esteem to see what lessons you have taught your children, are they positive or negative? Remember both positive and negative lessons are learned and if they have low self esteem maybe it is because you have low self esteem.
This post does not constitute medical advice nor should it be substituted for professional medical advice. This post titled “Building child self esteem” is intended for informational purposes only.
source : weightlosstips4kids
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